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Category Archives: Reflections

Embracing seasons & seeing the Lord with me

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It’s funny how human beings are not easily satisfied, always thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, always wishing that the grass on the other side would be theirs so that they will be happy. This ‘other side’ could be the past, someone else’s life, or a perceived better future (e.g. a change of job, a marriage, a change of house, a big bonus, etc).

This is a big lesson I’m learning. Before I came here, and had to work back in SG, I often lamented about how tiring it was to work, how I always had to stay up rushing deadlines and all. And I was really looking forward to stopping work and leading a ‘tai tai’ life. But alas, when I came here, I lamented about having to do housework and cook everyday, about not being with my family and friends, about not being able to attend my beloved church back home! How much of a complainer can one be!! haha

Until one day… I was talking to someone dear to me about her life. She has so much going on in her life, so much more to deal with, and possibly so much more to complain about than I do. But she yet she lives such a fruitful life, doing so much in her personal, work,  family and church life. And I thought to myself… why is there no complaining from her, but instead, why is she leading an even more meaningful life, unstoppable by life’s challenges? Then she said this phrase which struck me real hard, and it made me totally change my mindset and attitude. She said, ‘I have to be accountable to what God has called me to…. embrace [this season of your life] fully, and you will find joy and meaning’.

So I woke up, and realised that in every season of life, there are MANY things to thank God for, and MANY ways in which God is blessing me. There’s so much to experience, so much to learn, so much to receive, and so much to give in this life, each and every day. Since that day, about 2-3 weeks ago, I have really felt so much happier, so much more fulfilled, looking forward to enjoying the presence of Jesus each day, and every joy/adventure each day would bring. Even in the cooking and cleaning, He is with me. When I enjoy the little things and interests He has put me in my life, like playing the piano, taking care of my plants, baking, etc, He is with me, smiling on me, loving me. He guides my every step, interaction, and puts people in my life for us to be mutual blessings to each other.

May we always enjoy the now in our lives, and not miss out on the everyday blessings the Lord has for us 🙂


A Sacrificial, Loving Mother

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It’s been almost 2 years, and I still miss her as much as ever. Being here, perhaps, makes me think of her even more. Doing housework and cooking reminds me of her… Memories of her looking after us when we were little, doing housework, and cooking for us keep coming back. Looking up to the clouds whenever we are on the road reminds me that she is in heaven, looking down and smiling down on us. The reality that I would never see her on this earth again still stings and hurts, but I am so very thankful that because of Jesus, I will one day be reunited with her again in heaven.

This is something I wrote a few months back when I was still in Singapore… A friend once told me that the grieving process could take months, or years… Perhaps, I really am still grieving. But yet not without hope, because of Jesus… And this ‘poem’ (if it can be considered one) helped me to express how I felt, and still feel.

The Unspoken Sadness

Below the happy smiles and laughter that each day brings, may lie a sad memory buried deep beneath
A loss so devastating, too far gone, too painful to repeat
Could it be that the wound has healed? Or mastery of concealment of a pain so persistent?
Memories still floating
Dreams recurring
Images of beauty
And endless pining
The irony of sweet memories –
Painful to rehearse
Once the person who created them
Is no longer near
But one must carry on the life beautifully created by the one who left her behind
Yet it is not with total despair, for Jesus has given hope of reconciliation
In the Day when all tears will be wiped away
Without Him, the separation would have been eternal and the sorrow inconsolable
This is the reality of a life not perfect
In a world temporal
With sweet memories created by love
And pain a result of inevitable losses
Yet a life of grace and love
Given and bought for by a Saviour
Who bought n gave hope unshakable
In the light of eternity

Thank you, mummy, for everything you have done for us. For all the unconditional love you gave to me. I never had a chance to give back to you for all the sacrifices and all the love you gave to me. In my lifetime I would have never been able to. I am and will always be grateful for being blessed with a mother like you, for having grown up in a home where I always knew I’d be loved, one which I was always able to run to for refuge.